Ending Our Journey

So today ends in pure Heartbreak and Sadness. 😭💔I can’t believe I’m about to put this in writing but Ariella will be our last child. I’m so blessed I was able to have her. But My hopes and dreams for a big family are down the Toliet.😢I’m so depressed. My endometriosis specialist called me today with the results from my pathology report from the surgery I just had. And I have Endometrial Cancer (Endometrioid adenocarcinoma )from my hyperplasia which came from Endometriosis. I can’t believe I have cancer in my body right now. I truly can’t believe this. I’ve been crying off and on, when I first found out I was in shock and still am. So if you wonder if you could get cancer from Endometriosis you for sure can, I’m the living result of it. I have to get another surgery soon to get the cancer out of what the can see, She told me some of the cancer can be there that is microscopic so I’m probably going to be doing Chemotherapy and Radiation but not fully sure yet. I will still post on here but it will be of my daughter growing up, and thinking of doing some new things on here.

😭Here are some pictures of my miracle❤️🙏🏻 #endometriosis #endometrioidadenocarcinoma #cancer #prayers #endometrialcancer

Saying Goodbyes 😔

So yesterday I found out that my neighbor is in the process of passing away. She didn’t know it’s got this worse till she went to the hospital and they did a CT all her cancer has doubled in size and it’s in her liver right now also. They put her into hospice at her daughter’s home. And this is really hard. My daughter is taking it bad.

I’m hoping her daughter allow us to say goodbye cause she saw my daughter grow up. It’s so hard to tell your daughter something knowing it’s hurting going to hurt her inside. I’m trying so hard not to show my emotions which is so hard but I’m trying to stay strong for my daughter. I don’t take goodbye’s well at all, especially people I care about about. Threw the years I’ve got to no her since my daughter has been 3yrs old we have been here. She watched her grow up. I don’t even know how to say goodbye to her or how to handle my daughter saying her goodbyes💔I don’t understand why all the good people have to leave so soon😭

#goodbye #heaven #blogentry #momblogger

Wanted to post this here if anyone was interested in participating ❤️🤍💙

I do this every year and wanted to do it super early, to make sure every person keeping us safe during this time gets a little cheer from the country that has all of there backs. Wish I could shake and thank every person that is serving and has served in the military. Please if you have even a couple minutes out of your day just one card puts a smile on every Military Member that is risking there Lives to keep us safe and out of harms way. Thank you so much it means the world to me.🙏🏻❤️💙🤍 Please clink on the link below for the Military card event

https://www.facebook.com/share/PcCKNakDbXUeAurf/?mibextid=9l3rBW

#military #militarycarepackage #USA #Army #Marines #Airforce #Navy #coastguard #spaceforces #writing #Penpal

I treasure you Ariella❤️🙏🏻

Time for sure flies away and I mean so quickly. It seems like the other day I had my daughter. But all I can do is cherish what I have this moment🥺when I had my daughter I ended up getting a very bad seizure and I lost 2 whole weeks of my daughter’s life cause I was completely out of it and had a seizure at the hospital too. And my husband and her uncle were taking care of her. I can’t remember much but a couple things. But I lost the chance to breastfeed my sweet princess because I was out of seizure medication called Keppra and started off at 1,000mg a day now I’m taking 2,000 to maintain so I don’t get another one. I breastfed her for the smallest amount of time she did get all the liquid gold. But im lucky she got that. I’m Hoping to stay seizure free. But I lost so much going thru that I also had mastitis. So much was going on at the time. I am blessed but I just wish I didn’t get to lose the chance of having such a bonding moment with my daughter cause of the seizures but I did lose that 💔. I just pray to god he keeps me here to see all her Firsts! Graduationing high school, going into college, having her first boyfriend and getting engaged to having a child and being an official grandmother so I can spoil my grandbabies. #daughter #sahm #stayathomemom #fighter #growingup

Happy 11th Birthday

Happy 11th Birthday my Sweet Girl.

We have had so many memories and I hope we have many more together. You are the reason I breathe everyday. You breathe life into my soul. I got so lucky being blessed with such a perfect loving daughter. Wish I could have a thousand more just like you.

God knew what I needed when he brought you into my life. That is for sure❤️🥰Just remember that I will be there for you anytime you need me, to talk too, a shoulder to cry on, and guiding you thru the good and bad thru life. Each day you amaze me with how smart, generous, and loving you are, yet sassy 💁🏼‍♀️ But god knew I needed and wanted a daughter first and your everything I could have asked for. ❤️ I seriously look at you and I wonder how did I get so lucky to be your mommy. No matter how old you get you will forever be my Little girl☺️

Love you so much Ariella

#birthday #11yearsold #sahm #momlife #daughter

Please Vote for me to be the next Greatest Baker

I’m running for Next Greatest Baker ya’ll and I need your vote to keep me in. If ya’ll can vote for me once a day for 10 days to this first round is done. And if ya’ll get me three I promise to post one of my recipes as a Thank you❤️💕

#Greatestbaker #Baker

https://greatestbaker.com/2023/christina-cruzpagan

Anxiety Journal

I just had a Panic attack and I used the Lamaze technique for giving birth. And I just calmed myself a little bit down. Just focus on your breathing. Contract your chest me breathe Deep in and hold till you body just releases it back out. Do it again and again till it’s more calm😒I can tell you right now though it didn’t help worth anything when I was giving birth to my daughter. Cause the pain was super intense and the Doctor had a nurse give me a Pitocin. Which stimulate contractions & ripens the cervix. To induce you. Well they shove it inside with a latex glove, so I was hot and itchy. And eventually getting a seizure 2 weeks after giving birth to my Ladybug 🐞 and than right after they gave me Pitocin, they gave me my epidural. And it wore off super quick only my right leg. I couldn’t move for an entire day. I was basically paralyzed. Yeah, I asked for them to up it too help me a

But you can only press that button up to 6 doses. But none of it worked the nurses we’re basically telling me to be quiet..🤦‍♀️🤣😂 If I ever go thru that again I’m waiting a little longer to get the epidural so it lasts longer. And going to try these and tune everything else out. I might some relaxing music to calm me some also. Best luck to all you Mom’s out there, just know at the end of the day you still matter.❤️🙏🏻

#anxietyawareness

#Anxiety

#SAHM

#Depression

#grieving

Honey Nut Squash Recipe

Been going to Nalls Produce in Alexandria VA for years, since I was pregnant and been taking my daughter for years 10 whole years actually if you wanna think about it 10 years and 9 months 😝. But since my daughter was a baby and the age of her eating I started her off with carrots and started getting this and the long neck pumpkin, and I made her homemade Babyfood from the start. And she was obsessed with there squashs and as well as pumpkin pie pumpkins, My all time favorite is there HONEY NUT SQUASH ,so for 10 year anniversary of going there I thought I would give ya’ll a recipe

2 Honey Nut Squash

3 Tablespoons of Pure Maple syrup

1 Tablespoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon Mexican Vanilla

Cut your squash long length, and when you have them cut, Scoop out all of the seeds either keep those for later or throw them out. Rinse out the inside to get the slimy part out. And pat dry, add 3 Tablespoons of Pure Maple Syrup to each squash, and evenly use 1 teaspoon of vanilla after you add that put in 1 Tablespoon of cinnamon sprinkling it on all of them. I will give you directions on different appliances to cook them.

Slow cooker – 6-8 hours high till you can put a fork in and it’s soft

Pressure cooker- Set on meat to have them perfect add to 15 mins

Air fryer- Bake on 400 degrees and cook for 1in a half, make sure you cover with foil

After your done Scoop it out into a bowl of your choice and Enjoy 😊

Other option: You can swap out the pure Maple syrup for 5 Tablespoons of brown sugar. End less to you sweet preference. I like it Really sweet, especially during the holidays this goes perfect with tons of different meals but Thanksgiving this years I’m totally making it again😝

Endometriosis Awareness

Last day of endometriosis month just want to remind you just cause it’s the end of the month we struggle every single day of our lives. This was our first time at EndoMarch and the first time I was a photographer and prescient manager for Team DC and I will never regret it. Because I have meet some very amazing people threw the way. And they are my Endo sisters forever. Thank you Endomarch for allowing me to learn about the disease I have threw making some long time friends with my endo sister and the doctors and Barbara Page. Will forever hold you all in my heart❤️

#endometriosis

#endowarrior

#endoawareness

#sahm #momlife

Growing up becoming a Official Little Woman

So since it’s official I honestly can’t believe this but my daughter is a little Woman now. She started her Period on Tuesday. I’m not going to post the pics cause they are personal but I can post what I got her only. I was going to decorate a bloody theme but I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of her dad. So I got Her First growning up basket I bought some of these things yrs ago because I knew she would eventually start soon. (Book about her body and the changes, shavers, shaving cream, Pads lots of them, deodorant, face creams, face cleaner, heating pad, tons of chocolate but she took it out before this pic 😂😂But I swear it feels like I just had her still even though It has been 10 whole years she has been in my life. And the craziest thing is another one of her close friends started her period the same day as her also. That is so crazy and they are the same age!!!!!!! Don’t grow up to quick my love mommy never wants you to leave.