Somewhere, if you care enough to see, there is still me.
Through all the pain and fear of what this disease brings.
All I can do is plead, as this disease destroys the insides of what is left of me.
I lie here in pain, night after night and wonder how much is there in me to fight.
I know there are people that need me in their life, as those are the people I have to count on, each and every night.
As this Endo attacks and spreads to parts of my body, unexplored!
It’s so tough for me to ignore, all the doctors that push me aside.
And as this happens, my Endo-Sisters and I, we fight.
This is what people do not see, this is why we need to find a cure for this Disease.




I was very proud to be a Big part of this event Marching alongside my Endo Sisters and doing Photography for EndoMarch Headquarters, Endosisters. We all Marched to spread awareness for a cause we hold Dear to our hearts, not only for us but for the ones we love. And Endosisters that could not be here to do so for themselves. I had my support system walking with me which is my Husband Carlos and my Daughter Ariella. I hope one day that if she gets Diagnosed with this Disease than there will be a cure in place so she don’t have to live the painful life I have lived while doctor after doctor threw all my problems aside. Making me believe all my pain and issues were in my head. Why I went 24 years till I found out I was going through this the entire time, as my pain grew worse and worse.It has been a extremely hard journey through this all, and as I sit here and type. I feel every bit of Endo pain my sisters feel, plus extra. Im sorry it took to the end of the month to post the pictures but ive been in alot of pain, trying to fight through it all to play and watch my daughter grow up. I’m trying to treasure as much memories as possible, cause it seems like she is growing up so fast. I want to Thank the Nezhat Family for making this happen for the very First time, you doctor’s are amazing for taking your time out of your day. Also want to Thank Stephanie March for sharing your story, Also Sheryl Crow for Boasting everyone’s spirits with your beautiful voice.And allowing me to take pictures and get to talk to you.And all the other Endo sisters that shared there stories.  

I want to share all these photos with you all. If your in them you can copy them and share them, Please if you do so can you mention me =) I will be making a personal photo page soon. But I use this as my mine blog of everything. So you can share my sight. I hope you all loved the images I captured throughout our 1st ever Endo March. Feel free to leave me comments..Will love Feedback. Love Always Christina Cruzpagan

Please Join my Facebookk Group.

Hey everyone as you all have been reading today is the day I get Induced at 5pm I have to be there and at 6pm they start the induction, I’m so mixed up with emotions right know that I’m actually feeling numb inside, and very emotional just want to burst into tears. Im so scaried how its going to feel ,So many reasons to name off.  But I know Im going to be in pain either way, but Thank god Endometriosis has made my life pain all my life, for the first time I can thank having endo cause  I think it has trained my body for this day. . Well my husband is putting the pak n play up right know In the living room, and Im just packing stopping and all of it over and over again. Next time you all see another post it will be filled with pictures of my newborn girl. God Blessed me so much on the aspect of my life from finding someone to love to having a child, I couldn’t thank him enough, for giving me the best Blessing in the world. I’m going to miss my dog like crazy while we are at the hospital but my Brother in law is going to be taking care of her and she loves him. So I know she is in good hands. Just haven’t left her since I got her back from Nevada, when I went to get my stuff to move to Virginia… Well I wanted to post some pictures of our Christmas tree before when we picked it out and while we were decorating it till how beautiful it sits in our living room. It’s So amazing next time we walk into our home we are going to be walking in with our new baby, Im so glad she will be here for her first holiday Christmas Time. Well Im going to bring this to a end cause I still have alot to do, enjoy the pictures, PLEASE EVERYONE SAY A PRAYER THAT SHE COMES OUT HEALTHY FOR ME…….Love you all..Christina Cruzpagan


Well Ive wanted to update you all on what all has been going on before its to late to for some reason. Well on Monday my husband and me Did another photo shoot this time we did it in our living room  it was really fun as always, but the blocks we have been searching high and low for since this lady at Walmart took the last set, over 3 months ago, we finally came across at another set but it wasn’t in the baby isle this time, it was in the toy isle.Thank god we found them because we really wanted to take pictures like this before we had her, And not only did we get two sets so we had enough to spell out her name, when we finally got taking the pictures and I layed on my side her name was beyond long that in the picture it blends in with my pregnant tummy so it didn’t turn out right, but we got some other ideas and they worked out well. But they will come into use down the road also, for props for pictures with her in them and for her to play with. Hope you all love those pictures my favorite one is with my hubs head on my shoulders it just shows so much love and to find that after all these years im grateful for. I have honestly found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know many of you haven’t found your special someone yet but they are out there trust me. I takes the longest time but when you found him you will know. =) As for yesterday we had alot of problems over here and Im pretty surprised I didnt go into labor, I think I was having some bad braxton hick contractions yesterday at night when everything was said and done and all the plumbers and Power guys left. Cause I was cramping in my tummy and my back and my stomach started getting really hard and I was getting shooting stabbing pains down there. My husband rubbed my back to sleep And im so glad it worked..Well what happened yesterday is we have been having plumbing issues here first started from the sub pump not working to getting that fixed twice to another plumbing problem the pipes collapsing and flooding the basement for a second time. So we had them come back in forth for a week before even finding out that was what was wrong with The pipes. Well when the plumbers came over here yesterday At first they couldn’t find where the pipes where under ground so they truck a hauler truck for digging and started digging our yard up, as they finally found it After destroying my garden that we worked so hard on, they kept going back so they can get a hold of the whole pipe, they dug up so deep that they ended up cutting two power lines under ground They started to spark and smoke of course lol, And I was inside when they blew the first one out cause all of a sudden all the power snapped out and I was left in the dark, I went out there telling that guy in the meanest voice that he just cut our power off. So than I had to call the power company the emergnancy line for them to come repair live exposed wires, as soon as they finally got here they made the workers get out of there and stay out till it was safe to go back in the ground. As they started fixing it more and more trucks and power company people showed up. They say Mother power didn’t mark off that spot so its the Power companys fault, which it actually is, but either way that guy should of been aware of wires anyways..Well after they got the power on they drilled our basement floor a 4×4 area put in the new pipes and put most of the mess back but its so muddy we had talk the landlord into getting a cleaning crew to clean up. Well they still havent finished the job they are suppose to come back today to finish if they ever show up, but the water is working and power is know that’s a good thing. Well enough about that for know. As another note goes, Im having my Little Baby girl Ariella Kelani Cruzpagan Getting Induced on Dec 3rd at 6:30pm at Inova Alexandria Hospital. Unless by than All this stress puts me into labor, I’ve tried everything she don’t want to come out lol. From the foods to sex and Walking, I just feel the pains and that’s it. So that is when my little girl will be in my arms mattering how long it takes after they induce me, Im so excited I have only 5 days left, Tomorrow I go to the obgyn to see how many cm’s I am, plus she is going to tell us what we need to do, when to check in and all. My heart is beating so fast knowing im going to be a mother and have someone look up to me to raise them and love them unconditionally. This is the best Christmas Present ever I could of dreamed for in this whole wide world….I love you Ariella.

Hello My fellow Followers =) Ive been real busy lately that I haven’t got around to Blogging Lately. So here is what is going on as of know, I went to the Obgyn on November 21st 2012 and went to see how everything has been going check the heart beat which was 138 BPM, and than Got my weight checked I gain the 2 lbs back lol. And went in the room with my husband and waited for the doctor to come in, as I sweating, cause of how nervous I was to find out if any progress has happened. Well she comes in and as she says each time, we are getting so closer. And than asked me if anything new like cramping ect has happened lately. Well we went on to the exam, Im know for sure 1 cm Dilated, thought I would be more but the doctor said im progressing pretty quick being this is my First Long Term Pregnancy.

Well other than that we talked to the doctor about getting induced, and she said on my 39th week she can, reason Behind me wanting to get induced is because knowing my luck she wont be on call doctor that will be on shift the day I naturally go into labor. So since she knows my birth plan and we have a understanding if I do get a c-section she will be able to remove some of my Endometriosis, plus she knows all my medical history as well as me, I am choosing this and she said it will be safe because the baby is already full term. So how I naturally have my appointments on Wednesday this coming week will be Thursday because she will be in surgery’s all day on wed. So Thursday we will have a for sure answer since she will have a new schedule up so we can plan. I’m nervous as can be but with knowing a for sure day I can get last minute things set up and do some baking and get my doc a present in all, for helping us all through this all the way. But that’s if she doesn’t come in between know and Thursday , let hope she does that would be even better.

As for the all mighty Turkey Day A.K.A Thanksgiving =) The night before I did the Pumpkin Pie, some recipe I found on pinterest Called Browned Butter Pumpkin Spice Rice Krispie Treats, well they did not come out like normal ones, so my husband nicknamed them Pumpkin Rice Krispie Crunch. Lmao They were so hard At the end of the night I just tossed them.Totally do not recommend  that ever make them..They smelled good so unless your house smells like someone died in it I wouldn’t make them lol. I give that recipe 10 Thumbs down. Lmfao… Also made Chocolate chip cookies and a Peach Cherry Pie. And the Onion Dip we had for our Doritos and Corn Chips, also did the Devil Eggs. That all came out good. I woke up at 4am to put the turkey on, and got things prepped like the Sweet Potato Casserole, and put the Potatoes in water with seasoning just to put aside till I was ready, got the corn ready,and went back to sleep set my alarm for 7 woke up to base the turkey. And went to the DVR set the Macy’s Day Parade to record at 9am just in case I would to forget about it and than about 11am I pulled out the turkey. And than put the Sweet Potato casserole in, and got together another recipe for Pineapple Casserole I also found a new recipe for wanted to try some new things. That was a weird recipe how you make it but it smelled good at the end, but never got to eat any cause there was way to much food, but my hubs liked it. Than as we were waiting for that we made Bacon Mac n Cheese, and the stuffing and finished with the mashed potatoes. I think its so funny cause my hubs didn’t think I would be able to make thanksgiving cause of how pregnant I am, but I showed him hehe. He helped out to, it was real fun, always love cooking with him cause we take really cute pictures in the process. Well that is our Thanksgiving dinner completed and we had it all done by 12pm which was pretty good timing. It was funny also that my bro in law brought a huge box of hostess snacks cause you all no about them going out of business, so man I’m good for months and months.. There is actually people on E-BAY selling Twinkies for 60 dollars a box, which I thought was nuts. The day I heard that I went to the store got my all time favorite Swiss Rolls, which are made by Little Debbie which Hostess owns also and my Nutty Butty Treats. But that’s the story with that, like you all wanted to know that huh.. Funny funny thing though is when i went to get them I had got those had grabbed a fit Pregnancy Mag and had Sour Cream and Bacon Bits with me, and I told the cashier I know this don’t go together and she looked and started laughing cause she didn’t even notice it at all. Bad huh, oh well cant a pregnant woman have munchies while being fit hehehhehehehehehehhehe

Well enjoy the picture, I think I talked your heads off for know…

Also something that touched my heart one of my friends on facebook sent me this message she had put it in one of the Endometriosis Groups I belong too. Wanted to share how Heartfelt it was with you….

( Me & all the 176 million Endo suffers, would like to wish Christina all the luck in the world for the coming days as she begins the truly amazing journey into motherhood, she defied the medial world and proved to many that miracles do happen, your a truly amazing woman and our thoughts and prayers are with you and your little princess Ariella xxxx the long 9 months is nearly over baby. X)

This Is how we Conceived Ariella..

Whats funny is I got the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor  I ordered at the week I found out I was pregnant , I kept trying to use the regular Ovulation testers and It only told me like 3 times I was Fertile so I didnt think they were working right at all,  I started to be so depressed cause we kept trying for months before it happened. I had that procedure done also where they had put dye through my tubes to see if they were open or if they were blocked it hurt a lot getting that done, but I was so determined for a family that I would of done anything.So see our dreams come true. I went to a Fertility Doctor only one appointment cause the next one they said my insurance didn’t cover it.That day of that Appointment she gave me Clomid 100 mg days 5-9  And glad she did cause I couldn’t go back after that and I also took prenatal Vitamins and Primsoil and the first course OF Clomid. I ended up getting a cyst 8.9 cm they had to do Laproscopic Excesion surgery and my doctor didn’t want me to take the next course of clomid for a month after the surgery again, so than we wait exactly at the end of that month ,we started it back up thank god my period came at that time I added Preseed 5mg every time before we had sex and That was the only thing I did differently and I got pregnant , what was strange is we had a appointment at this fertility place in Bethesda and the Military would of accept us using (Tricare) for free just had to pay for half of the treatment , we put away enough to do IUI, and if that didn’t work we were going to do IVF well that week was the same time I had got the New machine in the mail the Clear Blue, and we called and cancelled, I took pregnancy test every single day after we took clomid, so I ordered pregnancy tests online 100 for like 10 bucks I kept taking them like crazy than, the day we found out at first I thought the pregnancy test was just playing jokes on me cause everyone of them kept coming up with only 1 line and this time, there was one with one dark line and one faded line, I was so excited I showed my husband and told him I think we did it, we wasn’t for sure and he said just to make sure go buy some good pregnancy tests so I went to the store got 4-5 of them took them got some all name brand ones like the ones that pop up saying pregnant or not right away than the one with the line and the plus sign, And the sad and smiley face ones,Every single one came back showing I was pregnant. I showed my husband them  when he was sitting at the computer and I ran and jumped on him, we were so happy, I made a appointment right away to the obgyn, to get a blood test and the Hcg levels were high, very high at that point she told me I was indeed pregnant. I told everybody.Every couple weeks I had to go back in to make sure my
levels were getting higher and not dropping lower, Every test the readings were getting so high…. And Ive been emotional ever since because I thought god didn’t have plans for me to be a mom, I didn’t feel like I was even a woman because I couldn’t give my husband let alone me a family. And know the rush of all of this is amazing feeling her move and seeing my stomach grow, listening to her heartbeat, is the best thing ever to feel,  looking at her grow through my ultrasound appointments .Just to know I’m going to finally become a mom after 32 years and one miscarriage, I thank god as well as my husband and my obgyn for making this all happen, I feel way to blessed. All I wanted to see was my own child’s face before anything were to ever happen to me, to Look into her eyes and hold her. And cherish every single moment of motherhood like everyone else does. I really Am excited for her to come into this world I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything in this whole world.. So don’t ever let someone ever tell you that you cant have children a family member, friend, doctor anyone. Don’t ever give up on this dream because this will happen for you. I almost gave up plently of times cause I couldn’t handle walking around outside seeing couples together spending all this time with there kids being a family and just dad’s or mom’s by them selves looking so happy and talking to there little one destroyed me, and im pretty sure it has happened to alot of you that has been trying for so long to become pregnant. .But with my surgery even going through a OBgyn and a high risk doctor cause of all my medical problems, had a couple scares upon the way, we are so closer to touching her soon.I send Baby Dist and wishes to all the ladies that has gone through this,
Sincerly Christina Cruzpagan,,

Cant believe I made it this far, I thank god and my husband everyday for making this happen. I couldn’t be more happier at this time in my life to be carrying my own child, that is a part of both of us inside of me a growing life. She reminds me that everyday when I feel her kicks, and drop kicks lol. Its taking me some time to think inside of how this all is going to play even though I no how it does, Ive been just freaking myself out lately and I cant help it but everyday that goes by I think how hard this labor will truly be if I will be able to do this naturally. I Have finally came to my heart on trying my hardest to do this all natural with the help of a epidural and any pain management they can give me that’s healthy for the baby as well me in true labor. Im so scared of the pain, Cause ive never been good at all with pain since Ive been living with pain half of all my life dealing with stomach problems, gallbladder, and having Endometriosis. But I have gave alot of woman hope out there with Endo to never give up on having a baby no matter what there doctor may tell them cause many doctors in this world today are wrong. The things that have changed with this trimister so far is that You can actually see from the outside when ariella kicks me sometimes it looks like kicks and sometimes it looks like she is making my stomach wave, The other day she did the weirdest waving act ever. My husband said it looked like she was playing the bongos inside of me..Lmao.  Also the Ligiment pains and strecthing have been getting alot worse, I spotted blood two times which freaked me out big time but went away within a hr. So thank god for that, And me falling down the stair case in our house, and at my last appointment last month I had to go to labor and delivery because I was having bad cramps, so they had to make sure I wasn’t having Contractions, and had to do a test to make sure true labor hadn’t started. So we had to wait about a hr for the lab results and they came back negative so I got released. The nurse told me I had probley pulled something on the way down the staircase, to take it easy. And she saw how active my little girl is and told me she was doing great. So that day ended on a high note, Also my pain from my degenerated disk in my spine has been getting worse, in my legs and in my lower back, as also i have water in both legs now. Besides that she is doing great tomarrow I turn 28 weeks and have to go for my monthly checkup which I will be doing a hr pregnancy glucose test,Which is a routine screen all pregnant women take to see if they have gestational diabetes, I have to drink a special glucose (aka sugar) mixture (think flat soda) and than from a hr of drinking it I get blood work done..Also getting a complete blood count to make sure my iron is still good like it was last time, if it went back down like I was anemic before I started being pregnant they will be giving me iron shots…So im crossing my fingers that will come back okay…Know a different topic before I get myself all werided out by the needle, I have got all my Little girls clothes together each one has either a beanie or a headband to wear also with cute matching socks got all of those packed up in our suitcase just in case of a emergency we have it all and aren’t scrambling for anything but just our clothes at the last min. Also some cute pink slippers for walking the halls in the hospital and packed a pink hello kitty pillow case for my room also got her diaper bag ready full of new baby items I will be needing for her at the hospital some I may not need but just in case. So you can say I’m pretty ready, we also got her pack n playpen out of lay-way it matches her Car Seat and Stroller which is from the Cristy collection at toys r us….Know we have to get her swing for the livingroom, to rock her to sleep. I no theres some more that we are missing but I cant think of it as of now. We have a registry at Toys r us, all you got to do if you would like to get something is go to   and than click onto Find a Registry. And than you pick the first one under search by Last Name would type in Cruzpagan and first Name would be Christina, City Alexandria and State would be Virginia. And click find and you will see our list…Im not going to be having a baby shower I wish I could but I barley no anyone here so we are just doing this for gifts. I will  update it by the end of today cause I Had to take some stuff off and got to add what we need now so You can see what we still need by tomorrow is your best bet to look on there. Well here are some new pictures from the last time, And I will be posting a video of my tummy movement..It will get much more visual soon as Im in these last 3 months….Thank you all for reading and being there for me through my pregnancy…

Im curious if all my endo pains are going to go away during this pregnancy cause so far they havent they are still there.But plenty of my doctors in the past have told me if you get pregnant the Endo will be put aside like laying dorment as your going through your whole 9 months, Than will come back as soon as your child is born. It says that  pregnancy can lessen the symptoms and effects. Is it true I will be able to let you all know through these months go by and I will update this as it goes????? Found a Snip from a endo sight that worries me a bit, it says (Pregnancy during endometriosis can be troublesome, this is because the cells can  cause severe pain, these pains plus the growing pains of pregnancy can sometimes  be unbearable.) Thats what im scaried of, and Just being a high risk pregnancy is going to be hard but I now plenty of women have children day by day in the worse of conditions and that makes me fight even harder to make this happen healthy. Reading on through this article ( Endometriosis and pregnancy does not cause problems for everyone, some women go on to achieve pregnancy, have a trouble free pregnancy and an uncomplicated birth.) Yay for the ending know I can rest peaceful tonight. Being a of a blog and doing double the research for Endo , and pregnancy and Having my own group on facebook for Endo having to keep up on research really gets to you because when I was a kid we didnt have online and know it rules the world and scares you to death sometime because some of it isnt what you want to read. If your not already on my Facebook group here it is, all of the stuff is up to date and we hold contests for fun to get our brains off thinking of the bad things going on daily with us. Please join if your not already a member..

Ladies Of Endometriosis!/groups/168958939876076/

Jan 16th, 2012

Going  through hell right know have a big Ovarian Cyst and today I got to go  to the OBGYN TO see if they are going to surgically remove it, it sucks  because im already into clomid and the pains I had before this was a  month in a half before even taking the clomid so I know its not the  clomid, Just scaried if I get a surgery that it will prolong my husband  and I having a baby till I get heal and this set of clomid would have  been a waste. ugh. We have already have had sex once since the start of  the clomid and tonight we are also. Unless I get more bad news….Please  everyone keep me in your thoughts.

After Appointment.

Im  back from my appointment and the doctor wants me to have a ultrasound a  sonogram tomorrow and than at 5:30pm I have to meet with a surgical  doctor if the cyst don’t get smaller by tomorrow they are doing surgery  which the doctor said is most probley going to happen….

Jan 17th, 2012

Nice and awake waiting for my sonogram at 1:30pm than got to wait till  5:30pm to talk to the surgery doc to see if I really got to get this  done or not…..oh boy..

After Sonogram…..

Okay everyone here is what happened. Before I forget when this valium  they gave me kicks in. Well I went to go take the Sonogram like I told  you all, and the lady who did it said even showed my husband and I how  big it was. This was after also of the Ob that wanted me to get the test  said that if it came back at the same size or bigger I would have to  get surgery. Well here it goes……We showed up  30 minutes early and sat there waiting on this Idot of a Dr. For him to  come into the room to ask me what is the reason your seeing me today  like his ass cant look at my chart and see what the prior doctor had me  do so I could come back in to schedule a surgery. After looking at the  results in plain eye sight he decided against me having surgery cause of  me being on clomid and wanted to wait to see if it gets bigger. My  husband than asked why would you wait for it to get bigger, than i asked  him arent you a surgery doctor and than he goes to tell us well I can  do surgery but im not a sugrical doctor.. the entire time it felt like  he was making excuses to not want me to have surgery but than telling me  if the pain gets worse go to the er to have a IV pain medication and  maybe a ob there do the surgery. He said he didnt have a regular room to  do the surgery. Than he was telling us to go back to the fertility  doctor to take care of the cyst after we told him they stopped taking  our insurance that we needed to find another one within our tricare  insurance. So we had to ask him for Two referrels to some more fertility  places and than we had to ask him to schedule another sonogram cause In  two weeks cause I dont want this cyst to get out of control and end up  bursting inside of me. He kept forgetting stuff the entire time and  asking me stuff that was already in my charts… tomarrow im going  to get on the phone and call another obgyn to get a second opion….God  Help me !!!!!

Jan 18th, 2011

Have another obgyn appoinment tomarrow to see if I can get something done, today im going to relax and do completly nothing, had very bad pain today from the cyst and I think im starting to ovualte from the clomid already because my stomach and pelvic is cramping and hurting like hell…Does this ever end, I got the will power though so Bring on that baby.

Jan 19th, 2012

Well  got some good but bad but than again good news all at the same time,  from my good obgyn that i actually got to see today. Well she agreed to  do surgery, but there’s a couple things. One she might have to take one  of my ovarys if she feels its really bad when she sees it, but she did  tell me i still can get pregnate with one ovary and lots of women do, so  it wont hinder my fertility, but she said  she will try her hardest to save it unless she thinks is medically a  emerganacy to do so. As second she couldnt do the surgery today cause it  was to late in the day and she had another one in that slot, but she  said she wants me to wait till monday and see if i get a little better  cause the clomid can be giving me the extra pain, because guess what  everyone???? Im ovulating so exciting. Well on monday she wants to call  her and let her no if im getting better or worse cause if i am she is  scheduling surgery right away. The down fall is my husband is starting  his another new job for the army as a cilivan and it starts monday so im  freaking out cause im going to need him. He wants me to schedule it on  like a thursday so than he can be there as much as he can…i really  hope they can save my ovary if not than its for the best. And the doctor  promised me i could still get preggers and with me on clomid it ups my  chances big time. Everyones prayers and all worked thank u all for  supporting me through this. Im going to need more support through the  surgery but im greatful i have all of you…..

Jan 20 – 22ND 2012

Pain , pain pain waiting for Monday to call the doctor back for my Surgery appointement…

Jan 23, 2012

Okay I’m scheduled to have surgery Friday at 6am at Inova Hospital in  alexandria getting this cyst out, I will let u all know if the surgery  gets worse than accepted or not the next day when I’m awake. I’m going  to try to see if she can look at my endo to see if its the same or  growning at full speed again…

Jan 27t, 2012 ( Day of Surgery)

Well I did get some sleep with my hunny we passed out on the couch and know the alarm woke me up for my fun filled day of getting Surgery,, Well I just want you all to know that as soon as my husband knows how Im doing by the doctor, I told him to come on my wall and post it so you all know whats going on.For you all that have my number you can call it during and my husband will answer and let you all know too. I thank you all for your prayers and love, leading up to this day.. Love Christina Cruzpagan

Everyone its christina this is going to be a long message. So please  everyonFinally got home, from  surgery well there’s some good and some bad so here it goes, I will go  with the good news first im alive and I still have both Ovaries, she was  able to save my ovary from the cyst. Im very glad for that, because I  didnt want to go with a 50 percent chance of having children. But bad  news is the pain im in its so bad and it hurts to get up it took me from  the car about 30 mins to get downstairs, in between every two steps it  felt like someone was cutting me right open again. The pain was so  stabbing that i couldnt help but cry the entire way, other than that  when i stand up it looks like one side of my stomach is higher than the  other, reason being from what i got from my husband was that after he  called the doctor after getting home was, that she had to cut through  muscle and deep just to get to the cyst and some of my Endometrisos yup  thats right i said endo it spread like wildfire again, she only burned a  little off because she didnt want me in so much pain i couldnt fuction.  So theres alot left inside of me. Thats the bad news, and she almost  put a tube down my throat and on a ventilator because i was  hypervententating so bad coming out of sleep, cause i was hurting so bad  afterwards. Well I bad alot of good staff and nurses and my obgyn is  the sweetest ever. And when I got home Jennifer Jauman Friend brought  over Boston Market to us it was so sweet of her to get us all that food,  it was the first time I ate from there and omg it was good that Im  going to find that place when I get better and eat there like once a  week. If any of u havent tried it I would. Thank you so much for being  so thoughtful I wish I was awake so I could of seen you. We will for  sure met up when I get better.Im sorry i didnt write this faster but  everytime I lift the phone up and type I fall asleep again…..LOve you  all im about to check all my notifications right know and answer u all  back without falling back to sleep.e click on this msg to read the whole msg. I wanted you all know  that im home and in pain.

Jan 31st 2012

Trying to recover from this cyst removal and they burned some my endo but there was so much the doctor didn’t want me to be in beyond pain so se is going to have to another surgery later, its so painful, wish it would go away. The worse cut hurts the most its a stabbing buring pain. nut they saved t ovary what a blessing

Feb 1st 2012

Update on me started to get more better on getting up but not with standing up or walking that long without getting dizzy, 1 out of 3 cuts hurt really bad. Woke up to bad stomach pains

FEB 6TH 2012

today..I’m getting there slowly…

Feb 7th 2012

Going through Youtube videos right Know and there are tons of Endo related ones, that its good to see cause at times I really feel alone unless talking to you girls online to see others have it also,my Husband and  I have been having trouble getting preggers but after this month I can go on my second month of Clomid and after the third one I asked him last night and he agreed to we are going to do a round of IVF treatment, so all I have to do is keep saying my prayers day by day and take my ovulation tests and take my primrose oil and prenatal pills to try to make my stuff is as healthy as possible.Im really wishing on a star right know. Wish my lil one will come into this world soon..Im getting more and more better im walking around know without getting all the dissy and the pain from my surgery is decreasing, so I can go out more and get my mind off of things….Love you all for being there for me during my endo and surgery……

Feb 8th 2012

Well I was starting to get better so yesterday I took the car when my husband was at work did some driving went to a couple of place and went to go get him fromwork,and than I payied for it last night because I was to the point of being in so much pain that I cried myself asleep, and my husband was rubbing me for a while but just nothing took the pain away. So I was like let me get up and get some meds as soonas I get to bed my rubbing partner was dead asleep so sucked,so I got my Ice packs the gave me during surgery filled themup and put them on, than I got on the bed after tossing and turning for hours and crying the entire time I had finally got to sleep when I woke up this morning it seemed like I was in way much more pain than last night so I switched and did heating pads on my stomach and my backnI stayed laying there in so much pain it took me so much energy to try to get my self in gear today amd take a shower andthan after putting on my makeup My body was getting worser so I called the obgyn atold them what was going go they told me to come in right away the doctor would fit me in. So than she walks in (omg christina you look worse than you did before you came in for surgery) I told her ( I told you Im not good at surgeries went down the laundry list onthings thats happening..)

1. Bad stomach pain where you cut me at, very bad too the poit I feel like passing out.

2. Complely Dissy

3. LowerBack pain

4. Both sids of my legs hurt really

So she told that I need to take a easy im still conered In the 3 week range of recovering from surgery that I need to take it easy and get my rest so I can recover properly. So she gave me Vicioden 2 every 4 hrs Thank god…Well sending my love to you all enjoy your night

Febrary 27th 2012

Feeling way better from the surgery took a while still getting stabbing pains where they cut me and when I sneeze OMG feeling like the cuts are ripping open all over again…But recently I Went to The Neuroolgist the other day and have to get Some tests done, a EEG Brain wave test, A EMG test for nerve pain, and a xray and MRI and bloodwork. Been having alot of nerve pain lately and the doctor said I have alot of nerve damage that he can see so far so know I have a pain patch onme for a week to see if it works It hasnt yet…Hopefully it does. I think all of this is from taking Lupron.

March 6th, 2012

I finally got to do the EMG for the nerves and omg it hurt like hell no wonder why the dont tell you about what happens till the day your there and doing it. The started with both my bottom lower legs put two patches on them and put a needle in me and shocked the needles which put a curatin into it lord.I started crying so hard the doctor asked me why am I so emotional really I couldnt even believe he said that ,I told him that it hurt like crasy. And than he had me roll on my back, than he did the test on my outter upper legs that have been hurting alot lately I felt a little so little that it didnt even hurt, He said alot of damage is already done which isnt good, but he has to read the tests I will no more soon. But know today I gotta go do a xray and bloodwork,and schedule a mri and wait till next week for my brainwave test.They up’d my dose for the pain patches to 10 mg…As for the Incesions from the surgery they are healing good just look really, just look super ugly and still get numb where they cut at init hurts from time to time. not as bad as it did so thats a good thing.

March 10th, 2012

What a week I have had Finally had my appointment with the Nuero doctor and he has been running tests and still got a couple to go, but after he saw me the first day. He had done some tests to check on how bad my pain was and It was too such a high level and he told me I had some nerve damage, but he didnt know what was going on as of yet cause he didnt run the test that day, he had to give me the appointments and all, but that day he Had gave me Pain patches which were called Butrans 5mg you put one patch on for a week and its a constant flow of medicine going through your blood stream.which all of you know how bad my pain in my stomach has been for years it actually helped out my stomach, but I was extremelly allertic to it, cause I broke out all over my sides up my breasts and on my stomach and back and got the worse headaches ever. I thought there was something wrong like hives so I went to Ft. Belvoir hospital and the doctor said it was hives that got inflammed so she gave me a steriod cream and 11 other medications cause on top of that I had a sinus infection and Broncityis. I started putting the cream on me for 3 days still had those patches on and no sign of the red bumps going away they were actually spreading more. So I figured lets see if its the patches so I pulled them off and it burned so bad, I look at my arm and its pitch red and than look at my sides stomach and all omg I was so red and my skin was on fire. The next day I went in for blood work he’s checking for other diseases lyme disease, lupus, ect, and to do a xray on my neck for neck pain I also have, Yes I know Im a mess lol. Well after I did those tests I just walked into his office since it was all in the same buliding and told the nurse what was going on and she fitted me in asap. I go into his office and Show him pictures I had took during it and than showed him as of know,he told me right away It is a allergic reaction to the patchs to not put them on anymore. So I had to sign papers for new pain med that I wouldnt sell them, misabuse them, go to more thanone pharmacy to get them ect. And know im on Oxycotin and Valium.Till he can get more answers so im not in so much pain so he canget all these test done, I also am scheduled for a brain wave this coming week its 45 mins in a blank room so not wanting to do that either but my balance is off and they are going to be checking to see if im having suizures, or have epilipsy since my mom has it also other things……ummm theres some more That I was going to tell you all, give me a sec…Let me save this so it dont get delated by accident lol…

et cetera