{April 8, 2012}   My Daily Mess with Endo Journal.

Jan 16th, 2012

Going  through hell right know have a big Ovarian Cyst and today I got to go  to the OBGYN TO see if they are going to surgically remove it, it sucks  because im already into clomid and the pains I had before this was a  month in a half before even taking the clomid so I know its not the  clomid, Just scaried if I get a surgery that it will prolong my husband  and I having a baby till I get heal and this set of clomid would have  been a waste. ugh. We have already have had sex once since the start of  the clomid and tonight we are also. Unless I get more bad news….Please  everyone keep me in your thoughts.

After Appointment.

Im  back from my appointment and the doctor wants me to have a ultrasound a  sonogram tomorrow and than at 5:30pm I have to meet with a surgical  doctor if the cyst don’t get smaller by tomorrow they are doing surgery  which the doctor said is most probley going to happen….

Jan 17th, 2012

Nice and awake waiting for my sonogram at 1:30pm than got to wait till  5:30pm to talk to the surgery doc to see if I really got to get this  done or not…..oh boy..

After Sonogram…..

Okay everyone here is what happened. Before I forget when this valium  they gave me kicks in. Well I went to go take the Sonogram like I told  you all, and the lady who did it said even showed my husband and I how  big it was. This was after also of the Ob that wanted me to get the test  said that if it came back at the same size or bigger I would have to  get surgery. Well here it goes……We showed up  30 minutes early and sat there waiting on this Idot of a Dr. For him to  come into the room to ask me what is the reason your seeing me today  like his ass cant look at my chart and see what the prior doctor had me  do so I could come back in to schedule a surgery. After looking at the  results in plain eye sight he decided against me having surgery cause of  me being on clomid and wanted to wait to see if it gets bigger. My  husband than asked why would you wait for it to get bigger, than i asked  him arent you a surgery doctor and than he goes to tell us well I can  do surgery but im not a sugrical doctor.. the entire time it felt like  he was making excuses to not want me to have surgery but than telling me  if the pain gets worse go to the er to have a IV pain medication and  maybe a ob there do the surgery. He said he didnt have a regular room to  do the surgery. Than he was telling us to go back to the fertility  doctor to take care of the cyst after we told him they stopped taking  our insurance that we needed to find another one within our tricare  insurance. So we had to ask him for Two referrels to some more fertility  places and than we had to ask him to schedule another sonogram cause In  two weeks cause I dont want this cyst to get out of control and end up  bursting inside of me. He kept forgetting stuff the entire time and  asking me stuff that was already in my charts… tomarrow im going  to get on the phone and call another obgyn to get a second opion….God  Help me !!!!!

Jan 18th, 2011

Have another obgyn appoinment tomarrow to see if I can get something done, today im going to relax and do completly nothing, had very bad pain today from the cyst and I think im starting to ovualte from the clomid already because my stomach and pelvic is cramping and hurting like hell…Does this ever end, I got the will power though so Bring on that baby.

Jan 19th, 2012

Well  got some good but bad but than again good news all at the same time,  from my good obgyn that i actually got to see today. Well she agreed to  do surgery, but there’s a couple things. One she might have to take one  of my ovarys if she feels its really bad when she sees it, but she did  tell me i still can get pregnate with one ovary and lots of women do, so  it wont hinder my fertility, but she said  she will try her hardest to save it unless she thinks is medically a  emerganacy to do so. As second she couldnt do the surgery today cause it  was to late in the day and she had another one in that slot, but she  said she wants me to wait till monday and see if i get a little better  cause the clomid can be giving me the extra pain, because guess what  everyone???? Im ovulating so exciting. Well on monday she wants to call  her and let her no if im getting better or worse cause if i am she is  scheduling surgery right away. The down fall is my husband is starting  his another new job for the army as a cilivan and it starts monday so im  freaking out cause im going to need him. He wants me to schedule it on  like a thursday so than he can be there as much as he can…i really  hope they can save my ovary if not than its for the best. And the doctor  promised me i could still get preggers and with me on clomid it ups my  chances big time. Everyones prayers and all worked thank u all for  supporting me through this. Im going to need more support through the  surgery but im greatful i have all of you…..

Jan 20 – 22ND 2012

Pain , pain pain waiting for Monday to call the doctor back for my Surgery appointement…

Jan 23, 2012

Okay I’m scheduled to have surgery Friday at 6am at Inova Hospital in  alexandria getting this cyst out, I will let u all know if the surgery  gets worse than accepted or not the next day when I’m awake. I’m going  to try to see if she can look at my endo to see if its the same or  growning at full speed again…

Jan 27t, 2012 ( Day of Surgery)

Well I did get some sleep with my hunny we passed out on the couch and know the alarm woke me up for my fun filled day of getting Surgery,, Well I just want you all to know that as soon as my husband knows how Im doing by the doctor, I told him to come on my wall and post it so you all know whats going on.For you all that have my number you can call it during and my husband will answer and let you all know too. I thank you all for your prayers and love, leading up to this day.. Love Christina Cruzpagan

Everyone its christina this is going to be a long message. So please  everyonFinally got home, from  surgery well there’s some good and some bad so here it goes, I will go  with the good news first im alive and I still have both Ovaries, she was  able to save my ovary from the cyst. Im very glad for that, because I  didnt want to go with a 50 percent chance of having children. But bad  news is the pain im in its so bad and it hurts to get up it took me from  the car about 30 mins to get downstairs, in between every two steps it  felt like someone was cutting me right open again. The pain was so  stabbing that i couldnt help but cry the entire way, other than that  when i stand up it looks like one side of my stomach is higher than the  other, reason being from what i got from my husband was that after he  called the doctor after getting home was, that she had to cut through  muscle and deep just to get to the cyst and some of my Endometrisos yup  thats right i said endo it spread like wildfire again, she only burned a  little off because she didnt want me in so much pain i couldnt fuction.  So theres alot left inside of me. Thats the bad news, and she almost  put a tube down my throat and on a ventilator because i was  hypervententating so bad coming out of sleep, cause i was hurting so bad  afterwards. Well I bad alot of good staff and nurses and my obgyn is  the sweetest ever. And when I got home Jennifer Jauman Friend brought  over Boston Market to us it was so sweet of her to get us all that food,  it was the first time I ate from there and omg it was good that Im  going to find that place when I get better and eat there like once a  week. If any of u havent tried it I would. Thank you so much for being  so thoughtful I wish I was awake so I could of seen you. We will for  sure met up when I get better.Im sorry i didnt write this faster but  everytime I lift the phone up and type I fall asleep again…..LOve you  all im about to check all my notifications right know and answer u all  back without falling back to sleep.e click on this msg to read the whole msg. I wanted you all know  that im home and in pain.

Jan 31st 2012

Trying to recover from this cyst removal and they burned some my endo but there was so much the doctor didn’t want me to be in beyond pain so se is going to have to another surgery later, its so painful, wish it would go away. The worse cut hurts the most its a stabbing buring pain. nut they saved t ovary what a blessing

Feb 1st 2012

Update on me started to get more better on getting up but not with standing up or walking that long without getting dizzy, 1 out of 3 cuts hurt really bad. Woke up to bad stomach pains

FEB 6TH 2012

today..I’m getting there slowly…

Feb 7th 2012

Going through Youtube videos right Know and there are tons of Endo related ones, that its good to see cause at times I really feel alone unless talking to you girls online to see others have it also,my Husband and  I have been having trouble getting preggers but after this month I can go on my second month of Clomid and after the third one I asked him last night and he agreed to we are going to do a round of IVF treatment, so all I have to do is keep saying my prayers day by day and take my ovulation tests and take my primrose oil and prenatal pills to try to make my stuff is as healthy as possible.Im really wishing on a star right know. Wish my lil one will come into this world soon..Im getting more and more better im walking around know without getting all the dissy and the pain from my surgery is decreasing, so I can go out more and get my mind off of things….Love you all for being there for me during my endo and surgery……

Feb 8th 2012

Well I was starting to get better so yesterday I took the car when my husband was at work did some driving went to a couple of place and went to go get him fromwork,and than I payied for it last night because I was to the point of being in so much pain that I cried myself asleep, and my husband was rubbing me for a while but just nothing took the pain away. So I was like let me get up and get some meds as soonas I get to bed my rubbing partner was dead asleep so sucked,so I got my Ice packs the gave me during surgery filled themup and put them on, than I got on the bed after tossing and turning for hours and crying the entire time I had finally got to sleep when I woke up this morning it seemed like I was in way much more pain than last night so I switched and did heating pads on my stomach and my backnI stayed laying there in so much pain it took me so much energy to try to get my self in gear today amd take a shower andthan after putting on my makeup My body was getting worser so I called the obgyn atold them what was going go they told me to come in right away the doctor would fit me in. So than she walks in (omg christina you look worse than you did before you came in for surgery) I told her ( I told you Im not good at surgeries went down the laundry list onthings thats happening..)

1. Bad stomach pain where you cut me at, very bad too the poit I feel like passing out.

2. Complely Dissy

3. LowerBack pain

4. Both sids of my legs hurt really

So she told that I need to take a easy im still conered In the 3 week range of recovering from surgery that I need to take it easy and get my rest so I can recover properly. So she gave me Vicioden 2 every 4 hrs Thank god…Well sending my love to you all enjoy your night

Febrary 27th 2012

Feeling way better from the surgery took a while still getting stabbing pains where they cut me and when I sneeze OMG feeling like the cuts are ripping open all over again…But recently I Went to The Neuroolgist the other day and have to get Some tests done, a EEG Brain wave test, A EMG test for nerve pain, and a xray and MRI and bloodwork. Been having alot of nerve pain lately and the doctor said I have alot of nerve damage that he can see so far so know I have a pain patch onme for a week to see if it works It hasnt yet…Hopefully it does. I think all of this is from taking Lupron.

March 6th, 2012

I finally got to do the EMG for the nerves and omg it hurt like hell no wonder why the dont tell you about what happens till the day your there and doing it. The started with both my bottom lower legs put two patches on them and put a needle in me and shocked the needles which put a curatin into it lord.I started crying so hard the doctor asked me why am I so emotional really I couldnt even believe he said that ,I told him that it hurt like crasy. And than he had me roll on my back, than he did the test on my outter upper legs that have been hurting alot lately I felt a little so little that it didnt even hurt, He said alot of damage is already done which isnt good, but he has to read the tests I will no more soon. But know today I gotta go do a xray and bloodwork,and schedule a mri and wait till next week for my brainwave test.They up’d my dose for the pain patches to 10 mg…As for the Incesions from the surgery they are healing good just look really, just look super ugly and still get numb where they cut at init hurts from time to time. not as bad as it did so thats a good thing.

March 10th, 2012

What a week I have had Finally had my appointment with the Nuero doctor and he has been running tests and still got a couple to go, but after he saw me the first day. He had done some tests to check on how bad my pain was and It was too such a high level and he told me I had some nerve damage, but he didnt know what was going on as of yet cause he didnt run the test that day, he had to give me the appointments and all, but that day he Had gave me Pain patches which were called Butrans 5mg you put one patch on for a week and its a constant flow of medicine going through your blood stream.which all of you know how bad my pain in my stomach has been for years it actually helped out my stomach, but I was extremelly allertic to it, cause I broke out all over my sides up my breasts and on my stomach and back and got the worse headaches ever. I thought there was something wrong like hives so I went to Ft. Belvoir hospital and the doctor said it was hives that got inflammed so she gave me a steriod cream and 11 other medications cause on top of that I had a sinus infection and Broncityis. I started putting the cream on me for 3 days still had those patches on and no sign of the red bumps going away they were actually spreading more. So I figured lets see if its the patches so I pulled them off and it burned so bad, I look at my arm and its pitch red and than look at my sides stomach and all omg I was so red and my skin was on fire. The next day I went in for blood work he’s checking for other diseases lyme disease, lupus, ect, and to do a xray on my neck for neck pain I also have, Yes I know Im a mess lol. Well after I did those tests I just walked into his office since it was all in the same buliding and told the nurse what was going on and she fitted me in asap. I go into his office and Show him pictures I had took during it and than showed him as of know,he told me right away It is a allergic reaction to the patchs to not put them on anymore. So I had to sign papers for new pain med that I wouldnt sell them, misabuse them, go to more thanone pharmacy to get them ect. And know im on Oxycotin and Valium.Till he can get more answers so im not in so much pain so he canget all these test done, I also am scheduled for a brain wave this coming week its 45 mins in a blank room so not wanting to do that either but my balance is off and they are going to be checking to see if im having suizures, or have epilipsy since my mom has it also other things……ummm theres some more That I was going to tell you all, give me a sec…Let me save this so it dont get delated by accident lol…


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